Trust In Me
by annaleafe
Summary: Rey and Kylo have awakened something more dangerous than they can imagine with their bond. No matter how hard you fight, the Force will guide you where you need to be. {Takes place post The Last Jedi}
1. Chapter 1

It was strong. So much that it pulled at her mind and gave her a small migraine at times. She didn't know if it was affecting him in that way as well, and she wasn't exactly about to ask him any time soon. She had to wonder if it her fault the connection had survived at all. She was constantly aware of it, hiding just beyond her conscious thoughts. As long as she didn't think about it, about him, she was fine with the dull ache it left.

"Rey, what do you think?"

She looked up and saw the entire table was looking at her intently. She froze and glanced at Finn, who subtly nodded his head once. "We should move forward with it. It's a great plan."

Lieutenant Dom turned back to Leia. "We are in agreement then. Shall we adjourn?"

General Organa waved her hand dismissively, and everyone around the table began to stand. Rey pushed out her chair but before she could rise, Leia met her eyes. "You need to start paying attention," she said softly. "This is going to affect you the most."

Rey felt the color rise to her cheeks. "I apologize, I didn't—"

Leia rose from her seat. "No need. Just try harder tomorrow. You are our future, Rey." And with that, Rey was alone in the room.

* * *

"Thank you. You saved me in there." She and Finn were walking together down the dark metal corridor.

He grinned at her. "It's what I'm here for, Great Madam Jedi."

"Finn, stop it, seriously." She punched him lightly in the arm. "I'm not a Jedi." She looked away from him, and spoke softly. "There are no more Jedi."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they continued to walk. After a moment, Finn glanced at her, then smirked. "Want to know what you agreed to in there?"

She rolled her eyes. "Probably some idiotic mission for Poe again. What is this, his fourth request to leave this month?" Finn laughed and shrugged. "What can I say, that is one determined man." He paused. "But no. It's actually about me. I'm going to head off world with Rose on her next supply run."

Rey smiled and paused, forcing him to turn to look at her. "Like a date?" She teased.

Finn snorted and reached out, poking her on the forehead playfully. "Like a Resistance sanctioned supply run." Rey rolled her eyes and he held up his hands in mock defeat. "Fine, fine, it's a date. I finally listened to you."

"Well I'm so glad you've bowed to my wisdom. Maybe you can even –"

Suddenly, a sharp pain raced down her side, like someone had just stabbed her in the stomach. Letting out a soft scream, she sunk to her knees, hands pressing against her left side.

"Rey?" Finn reached out a hand but she swatted it away.

"I'm fine. I just need a minute. I'll meet you for dinner tonight, yeah?" She looked up at him, face blank. "Seriously, Finn, I'm fine. Go ahead."

He cautiously stepped back from her, and walked slowly down the hall, looking back over his shoulder twice, before turning a corner. As soon as he was out of sight, Rey's face contorted in pain, and she dragged herself over to the wall, leaning her back against it.

The barrier slipped, just for a second, and her gaze met Ben's. He was sitting across from her on a chair, lifting his arm from a med droid to place gauze on his bloody side. He lifted his eyes and stared into hers. "Rey?" He breathed, almost sounding relieved. Rey was frozen in place. She was sure her face was a mixture of fear and surprise, so she quickly scowled at him. Just as quickly, their gaze broke, and he looked somewhere above her shoulder. "No, it's nothing, continue your report."

Rey squeezed her eyes shut and imagined the Falcon door closing again, keeping her safe inside. She pictured every rivet, every wire that broke their connection that day on Crait and breathed in slowly. When she exhaled and opened her eyes, he was gone. She rubbed her side gently as the pain faded and slid her back up the wall, leaning back on it for another moment. Her headache was back in full force.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

It was dark and wet and muddy, and Kylo Ren was not pleased. "Hux. Do you copy?" Static. "Motherfucker, if you left me on this swamp planet to die, I will cut you into little pieces and feed you to a droid. Do you copy?" Dead air. Kylo pulled his hood further over his brow to keep back the downpour.

They had landed on Derenzil a little over a day ago, and it had been a constant torrential rainstorm ever since. "Fuck!" Kylo threw his comm to the ground and glared at it, wishing it all the ill-will a stupid metal device could have. If Hux wasn't in range, at least one of the troops should have been. He paused for a minute, then lifted his hood back, letting the rain fall onto his face. Looking up at the dark trees, he took a deep breath. "Don't fucking come then. See if I care." He muttered to himself as he picked the muddy comm back up and shoved it back onto his belt clip. "Thirteen hundred meters to go, sir." The metallic voice from the earpiece made him jump. He'd forgotten he'd turned on the tracker an hour ago. Had it already been an hour? He scowled, and continued stomping through the mud.

Derenzil was a resource planet in name only. No one lived here, and no one worked here. There had been factories, rumor had it, back before his grandfather was born, that built some of the earliest of the Nebulon-B Frigates. Old tech, to be sure, but Hux had a team of First Order engineers asking to locate the factory, which meant Hux had been bothering him about it. "We don't need any more fucking ships." Kylo muttered to himself. "We need people who can actually enforce law."

He'd generously offered to come scout the planet with a small team, whom he immediately ditched upon landing. He had been feeling strange lately, like he was claustrophobic on one of the First Order's largest ships. He'd lived on ships like that since leaving to join Snoke, aside from a brief stay at the Capital a year ago. But still, the walls had been closing in for the last three months, ever since she'd locked him out. He pushed his soaking hair back from his face, accidentally touching his scar. He dropped his hand away like it had been burned. _Don't think about her._ He thought coming here would help. It should be a distraction, right? Dangerous swamp planet?

"Arrived. Nebulon-B Frigate Factory C13-09."

Kylo looked up, and there it was. It was massive, and mostly just steel framework was left, but there were some outlying warehouses that might have whatever Hux's stupid engineers were looking for. He pulled a beacon from his waist and threw it into the air. "Supreme Leader, we have your beacon. Unit 356B inbound." Hux's voice had grown to be more and more grating. Kylo was so sick of that smarmy rat always waiting outside his door, alternating between subtly questioning Kylo's choices or dramatically showing his dedication to the Supreme Leader when others were nearby.

A bit of movement caught his eye, a flash of red so quick he thought he'd imagined it.

"Show yourself." He ordered, pulling his lightsaber from his holster. He scanned the forest edge, reaching out with the Force to sense if someone was there. Nothing…nothing…there! One figure, a man, alone. Kylo began to turn in their direction, but before he could, PEW. A single blaster shot came from the woods, hitting Kylo in the ribs before he could stop it. "Fuck."

Before he could react, he heard the familiar whine of the approaching shuttle. It landed a few yards from him and Hux was out before the ramp was even fully down. "Supreme Leader! We heard shots! Are you okay?" Hux motioned to three of the troopers behind him. "Search the forest. Find the shooter." He barked and moved to help Kylo onto the ship.

Kylo shrugged him off. "I'm fine. I'm going back." He stormed back onto the ship, careful not to favor his left side. The luxury of wearing black is that the blood wouldn't show through for a few minutes, and the last thing he wanted was Hux fawning over him in front of troops. He hated that simpering idiot. "I'm heading back. Call your engineers down here so we can leave this system. They have 24 hours."Hux stepped back towards the ship, intending to go back up, but Kylo smiled coldly. "Stay here. Make sure the area is safe. Wouldn't want anyone getting hurt, now would we?"

Hux glared at him before bowing quickly. "Your wisdom is great, Supreme Leader." The door of the shuttle began to close. "Moron." He muttered to himself.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Kylo was back in his private room with his medical droid. "I'll have to cut the shirt away, sir."

Kylo lifted his left arm to allow for the droid to move in. As he did, his rib shifted, sending a shooting pain across his entire left side. He winced but made no other reaction. Living with Snoke had taught him that showing weakness of any kind was useless. He was looking down at the shot to ensure the droid was applying the correct septic solution when he felt her.

Looking up quickly, she was there, sitting on the floor on the other side of the room, pressing her hands onto her side. She looked up, and he realized she had pain in her eyes. "Rey?" He didn't recognize his own voice as it slipped from his mouth. She looked at him, her eyes full of hatred, but she didn't break the connection. Three months. Three months since he'd seen her.

A young Sargent entered his room. "Supreme Leader, a report from General Hux." A pause. "Supreme Leader? Should I inform General Hux you are not well?"

Tearing his eyes away from her, he looked up. "No, it's nothing, continue your report." And just like that, he knew she was gone again. Listening to the man give his report, he groaned internally.

It was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn and Poe were a dangerous concoction. One minute, they'd be having a polite conversation, telling stories about their lives before they'd met. The next, they'd be riling each other up over a strategic idea, each trying to talk over the other until they were practically shouting at each other. Rey much preferred the former, she thought, as she watched them moving dinnerware across the table in a mock battle formation. Finn had been watching her carefully since she'd joined them in the dining hall until about fifteen minutes ago when Poe had another of his brilliant ideas. She rubbed her temples subtly and quickly moved her hand back to the table to protect her water cup from being used as an enemy squadron.

At first, she had loved it here. They'd come to an abandoned outpost in the Byndar system shortly after leaving Crait, and from the conversations she'd heard, she figured they weren't intending on leaving any time soon. The planet had been in the middle of an ice age for decades, which prevented most people from coming here. And she couldn't truly complain about the base itself. It was a large system of well-insulated tunnels, with cavernous rooms she presumed had once been for hiding stolen ships.

Finn grabbed her hand and placed a knife in it, and held it over a dinner roll. She kept her arm lifted as he explained to Poe whatever this part of the plan was. A single pilot, perhaps. She laughed and rolled her eyes at him, and he grinned back. _This is what it would be like to have a family_ , she thought. Crazy antics around the dinner table. Laughter and friendship. She felt someone watching her and turned slightly to see Leia's gaze focused on her. _And constant supervision_ , she scowled to herself. She loved the attention and the comradery, but it was beginning to grate on her nerves. She had been alone for years, fighting for herself and working solo. To suddenly have all of these people around her… She just wanted a bit of silence now and then.

An arm wrapped around her as Rose flopped down in the open seat beside her. "You will not _believe_ what I found." She told the boys excitedly. "A trans-proton redactor chip." She proudly placed the small metal piece in front of her and grinned as Finn literally jumped out of his seat in excitement. Rey smiled politely at Rose. She was a sweet girl, and Finn adored her, so Rey always tried to be kind. Still, she realized as she watched Finn explain to Poe why this was so amazing and Rose leaning in to interject every few seconds, when Poe and Rose were around, Rey felt like a complete outsider.

She brought the knife back down to her plate. "I'm going to go lie down for a bit. We are still on for a guard shift tonight, yeah?"

Finn's face fell. "Oh, Rey, I totally forgot. I promised Rose I would show her a new idea I have for wiring the turret on my jet. We can always do that later though..." He trailed off and Rey smiled.

"No big deal. I don't mind doing them alone." Leaning over so Rose couldn't hear, she couldn't help but tease him. "I guess that will be the first date then, hm?"

Finn's mouth opened in protest until he caught Rose watching them. He chuckled and gave Rey's hand a small squeeze. "You're a champ, Rey. I'll save you a seat at tomorrow's briefing."

Rey left the dining hall before anyone else could grab her to talk. Ever since she'd rescued the core group of Resistance fighters in the Falcon, they'd treated her like some sort of hero. You'll be the one to stop the First Order, everyone told her.

"But I can't be." She whispered to herself. "I'm not a Jedi. I'm nothing."

 _But not to me._

She turned around quickly, expecting to see him there, but the hall was empty. Still, his voice echoed in her mind as clearly as it had in person three months ago. She frowned and drew her cloak tighter around her as she navigated the walk back to her quarters.

The room was sparse. There were four beds tightly crammed against the walls with small storage units under each one. Rey slid between two beds and flopped onto hers at the end of the room. Facing the wall, she curled up and the stress of the day began to fade. Her fingers ran over her ribs and she frowned. She had felt him get hurt. She wasn't even sure if that was the right way of thinking of it. It was more like… him getting hurt also hurt her. Which made no sense at all. She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. The only person she could ask, the only person who would understand, was the person she was trying to keep out. Frustrated, she flopped back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep that she knew wasn't coming.

* * *

She had been lying down for two hours, eyes clenched shut, but she was too wired. Sighing, she sat back up and stretched. _Might as well head over earlier_ , she thought, shoving her feet into a pair of thick boots she'd been given.

Glancing at the storage crate where her light grey robes were tucked away, she frowned. Leia had insisted Rey change into other clothes after they'd escaped Crait. "You're in the Resistance now, Rey. It's time you start dressing the part." Chewy had snuck her robes away from the rag pile Leia disposed them in and given them back to her before leaving. Now, dressed in a Resistance uniform, she pulled on a thick coat and grabbed her blaster.

Guard duty was never that exciting, but Rey volunteered whenever she could. It was the only time outside of her room where she was sure to be alone. She nodded at Captain Santorini as she entered the outpost watch tower. "Hey Waric. Thought I'd come by early, if you want to go grab dinner while it's still being served warm."

Waric Santorini, an Ithorian who had been on a reconnaissance mission during the Massacre of Crait, had arrived at the outpost a few weeks ago. He was one of the few people who, like Rey, would sign up for additional watch shifts as needed. "I like watching the snow," he'd said the one time Rey had asked him about it. She knew that like her, he needed time to be alone. Poe had told her Waric had lost his entire family to the First Order right when Poe had first joined. He and Waric had flown on the same squadron for years, but while Poe always liked a good firefight, Waric had transitioned into jobs where he wouldn't need to fire a blaster again.

"You, Rey of Jakku, are a true blessing." The Ithorian rose from his seat and raised the brightness of the screen so he could see her in the glow. He held the chair out for her as she replaced him. "Quiet night so far. May it be the same for you." He bowed his head slightly and left the tower without a sound.

Rey watched the door slide closed and swung back around to the screens where she could observe the scanners.

The familiar beeps began to calm her down, and she focused on them. Almost hypnotically, they pulsed into her mind.

 _Breathe in._

 _Breathe out._

 _Breathe in._

 _Breathe out._

 _Breathe in_. She began to cough.

Smoke. So heavy she could feel it coating the inside of her mouth.

She was in a desert, her boot crunching quietly on the sand. It was night, and she could see structures on fire nearby.

She broke open the door with a single solid kick, and let it fall to the floor, becoming a wooden welcome mat into the mud hut. She heard a muffled cry and a small gasp from under the table. Moving quickly, she motioned her hand to flip the table back onto the ground. Underneath were three children, a boy who was around ten and two much smaller girls. The boy was staring up at her with a tear-streaked face, his hands clamped over the girls' mouths to hold in their cries.

The boy trembled as she pulled her lightsaber from her waist and activated the red blade. She snarled and lifted it over her head with both hands, ready to strike.

"Please. Please no. Kill me but not my sisters." His voice was shaky and faint. She could pretend she hadn't heard him. _Strike now!_ But her arms wouldn't move. She stared at the boy, and felt the Force pouring off him in waves of fear. She froze for a moment more, before swinging the saber down.

The boy shrieked and fell to the floor, then opened his eyes. She had cut through the table instead. Not looking at the children, she swung around, cape furrowing behind her, and stormed out of the house. She'd made it only a few yards when her next step was paused in midair. Supreme Leader Snoke stepped out from the alley ahead of her. "Did you leave survivors?"

She was frozen. She couldn't speak.

"Did. You. Leave. Survivors." He drew closer to her, then slapped her across the face. She collapsed to the ground and he held her there with, keeping the Force pressing down on her so she couldn't move a muscle. Stepping over her, he waved a hand, collapsing the entire hut and pushing the debris aside to show the children.

"The Light in you, it's trying to win. But you cannot allow that. I will not have an apprentice who is _weak_."

"I'm not weak." She managed to spit the words out with no small effort.

He looked at her, a mixture of fury and disappointment, and then dragged her towards him. He forced her to her feet and her thumb slid down to activate the saber. "Prove it." Snoke snarled.

Unable to move, she watched with growing horror as he pulled the children from the ground and floated them over. The saber entered the youngest girl first, and the screams echoed in the night as she was moved slowly across the blade. The second girl, like the first, was dragged into the blade slowly, so slowly, leaving time for shrieks of pain. The two bodies fell to the ground and she could hear the boy's screams for mercy.

"Now. You can allow him to die slowly and painfully, or you can release him quickly. It's your choice, apprentice."

Snoke's hold on her vanished and she took a deep breath. Hesitating for only a brief pause, she stepped forward and cut the boy's head from his body quickly. Snoke began to laugh and she fell to the floor, gasping for breath. She felt the Darkness that was inside her sink another thorn into her heart.

"And now, for your punishment." Pain raked over her back as one of his Knights whipped her across the shoulders again and again, until she was motionless in the sand. She could feel the blood dripping through her armor from her back. Snoke knelt beside her. "If you _ever_ hesitate again, it will be far worse for you, boy."

Rey tried to twist her head to look up at him, but she only saw herself standing there where Smoke had been, wearing her grey robes. "You are a monster." The other Rey hissed, spitting onto the ground near her face. "Don't ever come near me again." The other Rey turned on her heel, leaving Rey in the sand.

Then, nothing.

Rey jolted up in her seat and leapt to her feet, pulling the blaster from her waist and pointing it into the dark. Nothing. Shaking, she took a step forward and stumbled, falling to her knees. "A dream. It was just a dream."  
She took a few deeps breaths that quickly turning into hyperventilating sobs. She wrapped her arms under herself, physically holding herself together. She could still feel the echo of pain on her back. "It seemed so real."

A low voice replied. "That's because it was." A pair of black boots appeared in front of her face, and she looked up to see Ben glaring down at her, fury clear upon his face. He knelt so his face was level with hers. "Stay out of my head, _girl_."

She gasped and tears filled her eyes. "Ben, I—" But before she could finish, he was gone. "I'm sorry." She whispered to the empty room.

* * *

 _{xxx} To everyone who is following this story already, thank you! I can't stop thinking about these two... Please leave reviews if you like it, or have questions about it so far! {xxx}_


	3. Chapter 3

Ten days passed before Kylo saw her again. _Not that he'd been counting_. He had been sleeping when he felt a sharp poke in his shoulder. He jerked up in bed, summoning his saber and lighting it in one quick move. Rey was standing over his bed looking down at him, her face illuminated in the red glow. Her eyes had deep shadows below them and she looked dead on her feet. "I can't sleep."

He was confused, and it must have shown on his face, because she added on. "I can't sleep, because I keep sharing your dreams. Nightmares. Whatever they are." He opened his mouth to say something when she glared at him. "I'm still furious with you, and I will never trust you again, but…" She trailed off and looked down at her hands.

Three months without a word, and that's the first thing she wanted to talk about? _The fact that she was invading his mind?_ Kylo sneered in disbelief. "They aren't dreams. Just keep your barrier up like always and you'll be fine." He spat out at her, before disabling his saber and turning over to face the wall.

He heard a sharp gasp. "Your back…"

He winced and sat up again. "It's not your concern. Leave, Rey."

She paused for a minute, and then sat at the foot of his bed before he could protest. Before he could say anything more, she pulled off her top layer of her uniform, leaving her in a black tank top. Without a word, she lifted it so he could see her ribcage. Several pale lines, whispers of old knife wounds, wrapped from her back onto her side.

"Some of the scavengers on Jakku," she offered as explanation. "They could get violent if you tried hunting in their areas. I'd gotten caught in one of their traps. I had to… I had to fight to escape them." He looked from the scars back up to her face. It was a mixture of sympathy and complete understanding.  
"I was twelve. I was twelve and I had to kill someone to survive." She rested her hand on his top sheet, and used the other to pull her shirt back down, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. "You aren't the only one with a dark past, Ben. But you can still find the light." Her hand unconsciously moved closer to his, but before she touched him, she glanced down and quickly withdrew it.  
They sat in silence for a minute before she spoke again. "I'm sorry." He frowned, confused. "I'm sorry I called you a monster." Another pause. "I couldn't understand why you would kill you own father. I still don't, actually, but I shouldn't have said that. Because if you are a monster, I'm one too."

Kylo's eyes softened and he shook his head. "That was different. You didn't have a choice. You were a child." His eyes grew darker and his voice was laced with a cold anger. "No child should have to live like that."

They sat for few moments in silence. "Ben. I'm not giving up on you. I can feel the conflict in you because I can feel it in me." She picked her uniform top back off his bed and draped over her shoulders in a mock shawl. "The Dark is easier. But the Light is worth fighting for."

She blinked and the connection was broken.

He wasn't in her room anymore. She paused for a minute, looking to where he had been. Shaking her head softly, she crawled up from the foot of her bed. Her eyes drooped shut. For the first time in months, sleep came easily to her.

* * *

Hux looked like a fox, Kylo decided. Small and charming at first, but always scheming. Kylo looked up from the tablet in front of him and projected the numbers he was looking at on the holo in the middle of the war room table.

"General Hux."

He froze midsentence, looking at Kylo, to the numbers, and back to Kylo. "Supreme Leader?"

"There is a miscalculation here. You are anticipating a 10% increase in manpower in the next month in this forecast, but you've already included them in the plans for this month's approach on the Ventarian system."

Hux's face was stuck in that stupid, _stupid_ smirk, ready to explain it away. "Well, Supreme Leader, that—"

Kylo spoke over him. "With that kind of an error, we would be vastly underpowered for both the Cephar and Tund approaches." He narrowed his eyes at Hux and lowered his voice. "Surely you wouldn't allow for something like that. An underpowered army could lead to failure." He ended the holo and looked back at his tablet.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hux's face twist nastily as if he'd just eaten a lemon. "Of course, Supreme Leader. We'll have those revised right away."

Kylo smirked and nodded once. "Your attention to detail is appreciated. Carry on."

Internally, though, he was fuming. _Hux was trying to set the armies up for failure._ If Kylo had signed off on plans that failed, that would be the start of his undermining. He had enough to worry about without having to double-check every single thing his council was doing. He continued to glance through fuel projections.

Suddenly, he was forced back in his seat by a powerful blast. Gasping, he grabbed his shoulder in pain.

"Supreme Leader?"

General Cardo rose slightly in concern.

Kylo glanced around the table to see all eyes on him in vary degrees of concern and confusion. "It's nothing. Proceed with the plans. I will verify anything that needs my approval tonight." He rose from his seat and removed his hand from his shoulder, the picture of calm.  
Without looking back, he left the room, cloak billowing behind him. As soon as the doors slid closed behind him, he ripped off his cloak to look at it. Something had hit him in the shoulder. It had felt like a blaster, but his shirt looked intact. The pain hit him again and he stumbled slightly as he approached the lift. Once inside, he stopped the lift and pulled his shirt off. His arm burned like hell, but there wasn't a single mark on him.

He frowned, remembering when he had been shot on Derenzil, the first time the connection had reappeared. Rey had been on the ground, holding her ribs exactly where he'd been shot. _Impossible_. He pursed his lips and closed his eyes, reaching out for her. He'd never actively tried to reestablish it, and he doubted Rey had either, so he wasn't sure it was even possible.

"Finn, stop, it wasn't your fault."

He opened his eyes and there she was, on the other side of the lift, her hand clutched over her shoulder.

She saw him and her eyes widened, flickering over his bare chest, before quickly looking away from him. It was weird, watching her look at someone he couldn't see.

She frowned and rolled her eyes. "No, seriously. It's my fault. Can you just go grab me a bacta patch or something?" She waited a second and then smiled brilliantly. "Thanks Finn. I'll be here." She watched the air for another moment then her eyes shot back to Kylo, her eyes narrowing.

"Did you just get shot with a blaster?" Kylo spoke slowly, his voice low and Rey's eyes flickered to Kylo's hand still over his own shoulder and her mouth formed a small "oh."

Kylo frowned. This bond, this connection, it was growing stronger.

"But Snoke is dead," Rey's voice finished his thought. Her anger had left her body and she stood still, shoulders drooping slightly. "Are you…?" Her voice trailed off.

Her question was apparent and Kylo sneered. "Of course not. Why would I ever _want_ to be bound to you?"

"Then how are we doing this?" Her hand dropped down to her side and he could see the blaster mark burned into her skin. He stepped towards her and instinctively reached out to it before stopping himself. They were close to each other, close enough Rey had to tilt her head up to look at him. "Ben, what are we going to do?" But she could see he was just as lost as she was.

Suddenly, her face jerked away from his, and she smiled at something behind him. He could see it was forced.  
"No worries. Can you just patch it up, and we can go grab food? I'm dying." She laughed at whatever her friend had said, and for the briefest instant, glanced back at him before replying in a playful tone. "Well, it was a dumb idea to begin with. I guess I'm no Kylo Ren." He wasn't sure her friend would notice, but he saw how she stiffened when she said his name, lip curling slightly in anger.

As if she had just remembered who he really was, she suddenly pushed him out, and he was alone in the lift with only an aching shoulder.

* * *

"Ben?"

"I'm sleeping." His voice was icy. He was annoyed. At her, for shutting him out in the lift a week ago. At Hux, for his idiocy. At himself, for being so damn useless sometimes. He wanted to be left alone.

"Sorry." A pause. "You know Luke is gone, right?" Her voice was weary.

He rolled over to try to see her in the dark room. "I felt it, if that's what you are asking."

She sighed and fell silent. For a minute, Kylo thought she had fallen asleep and waited for the connection to break. "What was it like, training with him?"

Kylo's brow furrowed and he thought for a minute before responding. "Painful. It was like I was betraying part of myself by not leaving immediately when Snoke found me, but…"

"But he was Luke _Skywalker_." Her voice dropped and she added tonelessly, "The greatest Jedi alive." She sounded exhausted.

Kylo frowned. "Why are you asking?"

Another heavy sigh. "He wouldn't have trained me. Even I hadn't come to you, he never would have trained me." She paused and he could hear her voice strain like she was trying not to cry. "There was too much Darkness in me." Unspoken, he heard the implication. _Too much of you_.

A long silence.

"Ben?"

"My name is Kylo."

Her voice faltered. " _Ben_. I don't… I don't always mind that we are connected like this. Even when I'm fighting to keep you out… it's better than being alone." He heard her breathing slow as she dozed off, severing the connection.

Kylo sighed and pulled his fingers through his hair and onto his pillow. "It's better than being alone." He repeated softly.

* * *

 _{xxx} Hi all – another huge thank you to everyone who is following this story. Please be patient through the holidays until the next chapter. If anything is unclear, please leave a review so I can edit it to make more sense. Much love! {xxx}_


	4. Chapter 4

Finn yawned deeply and Rey jabbed him with her elbow. "Pay attention. Everyone is on edge today."  
He blinked sleepily and glanced around the room. As he noticed the tension between some of the commanders on the other side of the room, he focused and sat up straighter in his seat. "What's going on?"

Rey shook her head and shrugged once, hiding a yawn. Ever since she'd spoken to Kylo about Luke a week ago, she'd felt better, but his memories would still invade her dreams. The last few nights, she'd woken up screaming and had been unable to fall back to sleep. _How does he function?_ It didn't help that the cavernous room was dark and cold. She could doze off at a moments notice.

Captain Santorini caught her gaze across the dark canteen-turned-meeting hall. His expression changed into what Rey thought was a frown and he tilted his head slightly in a beckoning gesture. Rey's brow crinkled as she tried to make him out, but before she could stand to go speak with him, one of the Admiral's began to speak to the gathering.

Rey tried to focus, but sleep fought her. She leaned against Finn, resting her head on his shoulder. He glanced down at her and whispered, amused, "Aren't you the one who said to pay attention?"

She yawned again and murmured back, "That's what I keep you around for. So you can fill me in on the details."

He chuckled softly, and they fell into a comfortable silence as the Admiral spoke.  
He suddenly tensed. Rey lifted her head slightly to see what had startled him. He was staring across the room, where Rose was standing by the door, arms folded and glaring at them.

"Oh, not this again." He muttered, standing slowly. "I'll be right back." He touched Rey's shoulder lightly as he walked behind her, heading toward the perimeter of the hanger. Her brow furrowed as she watched him approach Rose. Something weird was going on between those two. Trouble in paradise, maybe. She sat up straighter on the bench she was sitting at and attempted to focus on the Admiral's words. It sounded like he was wrapping up his speech.

When he finished, General Leia Organa stood from where she had been sitting behind the Admiral and walked to the center of the room, so all would be able to see and hear her.

"We've received word that there is a small band of rebels on Tund who have been requesting our support. They have plenty of weapons and food, but fear for their families, and wish to be extracted to our base."  
A murmur of voices rose in the room, and Rey knew exactly why. It had been weeks since anyone new had arrived to Byndar. There were maybe 500 people in the base total, although looking around the room, it felt like a much smaller number. So many had been lost, but some, like Captain Santorini, had been gained.  
"I will be sending two teams to extract these rebels. One team will be headed by Lieutenant Dameron."

Rey's eyes instantly shot up to meet Finn's as he looked at her across the room. He raised a brow in question and Rey shook her head. Apparently, Poe hadn't told Finn either about getting promoted. She scanned the crowd looking for him, but figured he'd already be getting some ships ready for the rescue mission.

General Organa finished her announcement with a promise of hope on the horizon, and the Admiral who had been talking earlier began to list off the Resistance fighters who would be in each squadron.

Rey's leg tapped anxiously. She'd never flown with Poe, but she was sure she'd be able to keep pace with him. She understood ships, how they worked, how to push them further.

Maybe if she impressed him, he'd invite her on his next scouting mission. Whenever she'd asked him about it before, he'd avoided her eyes and said he'd already picked his team. It would be nice though, to spend time with him and Finn and even Rose as long as she could leave the base for a few days.

The Admiral finished reading from his tablet and he turned away. Everyone in the gathering began to stand, dispersing to wherever their tasks for the day were. Rey cursed silently. She'd been so out of focus, she'd missed hearing which team she was on.

"Excuse me, Admiral." She smiled widely at him.

He looked up and glanced her over, his head bowing slightly. "Our dear Jedi Rey, what can I do for you?"

Rey flinched internally but kept her face expressionless, smile fading. "I didn't hear my name. Am I with Lieutenant Dameron?"

The Admiral looked away from her for a second, glancing at General Leia. "You aren't assigned to a ship."

"Pardon?" Rey frowned.

"All assignments were approved by the General. She pulled your name from the roster." He picked up some papers from the bench beside him and nodded quickly at her in farewell. "Excuse me. I must attend to the cadets."

Rey froze for a minute.  
She hadn't been asked to go on a mission since they'd arrived, but surely that was just because she'd volunteered for guard duty. Why would General Organa not want her to leave?

Seeing General Organa leaving the cavern, she jogged over and smiled. Surely it was a misunderstanding. "General, a moment?"

Leia turned to see Rey, and she waved away the girl she'd been talking to. "Later, Captain Dem." She stepped back into the hanger and moved away from the door to not block it. "What can I do for you, Rey?"

"I was just wondering why I'm not in Poe's squadron for the Tund rescue mission. I can fly better than half the people who are going."

Leia turned to Rey, her eyes weary. She let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry, Rey. You aren't going on that mission."

Rey tilted her head. "Is there a different mission you need me for? I can ask Finn to join me. He won't mind leaving Poe on his own for once."

Leia smiled sadly. "Rey…" She started slowly, pausing to meet Rey's gaze. "What these people need is a symbol of hope. And that's you. If you are on the battlefield with them, that puts a risk to that beacon of light. We need you safe. And missions aren't always safe."

Rey blinked in confusion. "But I'm part of the Resistance. And I've dealt with plenty of unsafe situations before." She gestured at the uniform. "You said I was needed."

Leia smiled kindly. "And you are needed. You are the last of the Jedi, and having you with us is the most important thing."

"But I'm not even a real Jedi, I just –"

"Rey." Leia's voice snapped like a whip and she looked sharply into Rey's eyes, and for the tiniest second, Rey knew why she was the most feared General to ever lead a rebellion. Her voice softened again. "It doesn't matter if you will never be a true Jedi. You are what they think you are. That's what will bring Hope. That's how we win." Her voice left no room for argument.

Rey stood still for a moment, then smiled tightly, hoping it reached her eyes. "Understood, ma'am."

Leia's gaze softened and she drew Rey into a soft hug. "I won't lose you like I lost Luke." Rey was comforted until she looked to see those who were still in the room staring at her and Leia. She caught the true meaning of Leia's words and she swallowed heavily.

Luke never needed to fight. He was there as a legend. The Resistance didn't want Rey's help. They wanted her to fill the role of feared Jedi.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped back from Leia. "Thank you. I understand completely." She bowed her head to the older woman. "I'm going to catch up with Finn before he leaves."

Leia smiled gently back at her and turned to speak to one of the engineers who was still in the hanger.

Rey made it halfway back to her room before a wave of nausea hit her. She sunk to the ground, dry heaving, trying to catch her breath. She suddenly felt more anxious than she ever had in her life.

Leia must have ordered Poe to refuse her squadron requests. Her stomach sunk. Ever since she'd come to the base on Byndar, none of the cadets or captains would train with her. Even Finn had been hesitant until she'd found a room away from the main training space. She'd thought maybe it was because they just didn't know her very well and felt uncomfortable, but she now realized, Leia must have told them not to spar with her. _Couldn't risk me getting hurt._

"It's time for the Jedi...to end," she murmured, echoing Luke's words to her. She pulled herself back up and stood, leaning her back against the frigid metal wall of the hallway. Even Leia didn't see her as a true Jedi; she was just a puppet, a figurehead of a legend long dead. She suddenly understood all too well why Luke never would have returned.

* * *

"General Cardo, a word."  
Kylo remained seated as the members of the war council rose at the end of the meeting. Cardo's eyes flickered with fear for a moment and he glanced at Hux, who was hovering in the doorway. "You're excused, Hux." Kylo didn't even need to turn to feel Hux's scowl. He had been seeing it a lot lately, especially when he questioned anything during these meetings.

"Supreme Leader, if anything in my performance has been unsatisfactory, I deeply and humbly –"

Kylo pushed his tablet towards Cardo. "Read this out loud to me."

Cardo reached across the table and turned the tablet. He frowned as he scanned over the numbers and looked up. "Sir?"

"Out loud, if you would, Cardo."

Cardo cleared his throat nervously. "But these numbers are incorrect, Supreme Leader."

"But that is your report. You submitted this." Kylo's voice was icy. "If you can't keep track of your own units, why should I bother having you around at all?"

Cardo was frozen with fear. Kylo tapped his fingers on the table, pushing Cardo flat against the table top, watching him squirm like a bug. Rising swiftly, he moved around the table in a single fulid movement and bent over so his face was level with Cardo's.

One thing he'd noticed over the last four months in power was that the idiots were more terrified of him when he was calm. He'd learned it from Snoke, he supposed, since he would always know a silent Snoke was one who was pondering his failures as an apprentice. Shaking the thought away, he looked levelly into Cardo's eyes like a predator would look at their trapped prey.

"Is that the report you originally wrote?"

He lessened the pressure holding Cardo down by a hair, enough that the man could let out a wheezy, "No, sir."

Kylo's eyes narrowed dangerously. He could feel Cardo's heart pounding. The man was terrified and would be willing to share any secrets he had. "Did you submit your reports to General Hux to compile?"

Cardo, if possible, struggled harder against the pressure holding him down. Kylo sat back up, still trapping the general, and leaned against the table. "You have nothing to hide from me. Hux already told me all about you…how you have been changing the numbers I approve. How you've sent men into fights you know they wont return from. How you tried to have me killed on Derenzil." He kept his voice casual, as if discussing the new fighter jet designs or the weather, but pushed more pressure down on the general.

Cardo screamed out in pain. "No, no, it was Hux's idea. All of it! That's why he pushed you to even go to that swamp planet."

Before he could think, Kylo's hand crushed into a fist, and Cardo collapsed, unmoving. He could only be calm for so long before instinct took over. He sunk into the nearest chair and his expressionless face broke for the first time. So that bastard had actually tried to have him killed.

He'd known Hux hated him and had tried to fuck him over in the council every chance he got, but this was a step further than he would have thought it had gone. On the other hand, he had been able to confirm the truth about those raids troopers had been going on and never returning from. That was killing off Hux's own men though, which made no sense. He groaned and sunk back into the chair. _What was that fucker planning?_ The worst of it was, if Cardo had been in on this, how many other of the military leaders had Hux pulled to his side? He couldn't just kill every high-ranking official he had on the ship. Even for him, that was irrational.

Waving his hand over Cardo's head, he wiped the man's memory of the last ten minutes. He'd wake up in a few hours with a dreadful headache, but at least he'd still be waking up. Grabbing his tablet from the table, Kylo stood and walked to the door. He took a deep breath before entering the hallway. He'd be playing with fire from here on. And if what he suspected was true, Hux had enough kerosene to burn them all to the ground.


	5. Chapter 5

Left, right, down, slide, and slice. Rey's staff swung in a controlled arc into the burlap bags she'd set up on the table, knocking off the top one.

"Is this really how you've been practicing for three months?" Kylo's voice caused her to stumble. She'd been so completely focused on the motions she hadn't felt him.

She turned and lifted a single brow. "I don't exactly have anyone to spar with."

He frowned and motioned around the room. "Aren't there hundreds of fighters with you right now? Surely one of them can go hand-to-hand with you."

Rey scowled at him. "Stop trying to pry information. For all you know, there are three Resistance members alive, and they are all cooks."

Kylo's mouth twitched, the closest she'd seen to a smile on his face, and he turned away from her. "I wonder…" He held out his hand and suddenly a metal bar was pulled from the shadows of the room. "If this is from my side, could I hit you with it?"

Rey studied his face. "Are you offering to spar with me?"

"Obviously not. I'd never help you. I'm just satisfying my own curiosity." He stepped towards her, swiping the long bar towards her shins. In response, she jumped back nimbly, falling easily into a crouch with her staff behind her. She hesitated and Kylo lowered his pole. "If you don't want to—" She cut him off with a sudden rush forward. Kylo moved into his own defensive position and easily deflected her staff with his clang of the weapons connecting caused both of them to glance at each other.

"Question answered. Does that mean you're leaving?"

He answered her by twisting his bar, pulling her staff away from her. She summoned it back to her open hand and quickly slashed down towards him. Kylo sunk into a defensive role, letting her attack and reading her moves. They fought in silence for what felt like several minutes. The only sounds echoing were the weapons clanging and their own steady breathing.  
She was still good when attacking someone who was defending, but it was obvious to Kylo that she hadn't been training with a live person, or she wouldn't have made some of the mistakes that allowed him to move smoothly out of defense into an offensive line of attack.

And still, even though he was on the offense with strikes and jabs, she was holding her own against him. After a barrage of attacks, he saw an opportunity and took it, scooping his pole under hers and dislodging it and flinging it across the room. She looked over to where it had fallen and reached out her hand, but before she could get it back, the metal was against her neck, ice on her skin.

She looked at Kylo, breathing heavily. "Lesson one, never look away from your enemy." His voice was steady, but she could see he was also slightly winded from their spar.

"Are you my enemy?" It was a whisper that hung in the air between them. He removed the pole from her neck and held it beside him. His eyes were still on hers, but they no longer looked dangerous.

Silence filled the room. She looked at him for a moment longer, then turned to get her staff.

"I have to be."

And then he was gone. Rey was surprised he had answered at all. She looked at the timer she'd set up next to the bags, and realized it had been over ten minutes. It was the longest they'd ever held a connection. And they'd been able to spar with objects from their own spaces. Contemplating what that could mean, Rey threw her towel over her shoulder and grabbed her staff as she left the room.

 _He said 'lesson one',_ she realized, and a hint of a smile crossed her face.

* * *

He sidestepped her punch easily, pushing it to the side and catching her shoulder with a sharp blow. Rey stumbled back and lifted her hand. "Let me catch my breath."

Kylo walked to his desk and grabbed his water. "You're still too sloppy. Have you been practicing blocking it at all?"

She scowled and chucked an apple at his head, which he easily caught and took a bite from before tossing it back. "I'm trying. I am, but I still can't feel it." She took a sip of her own water. "I know you are using the Force to predict my movements, and I can feel that, but I can't find a way to block it or use it to predict yours."

It had been five weeks since they'd first sparred, and it was slowly becoming a part of both of their routines. Rey would head to the farthest empty room away from the center of the outpost before the sun would rise so she could sneak back before breakfast had begun. Depending on where Kylo was, he would try to find an excuse to leave and meet with her. He'd never admit it, but sparring was keeping him on his toes. Hux seemed to expect he would do nothing but sit and occasionally bark orders about taking over a certain system or killing a suspected Resistance supporter. It was driving him insane, knowing Hux was scheming under his nose, and having no way to fight back. With Rey, though, he could fight.

"I have an idea. Come here." Kylo grabbed a spare shirt from off his desk where he'd thrown it the night before. He tore it twice to leave a long strip of black cloth. Rey raised a brow but walked over. "Turn around." She squinted at him, trying to tell if it was a trick, but he kept his face completely blank until she turned around. Placing the cloth over her eyes, he tied it tightly.

"Ben…" She began, but Kylo moved away from her quickly.

"Don't take it off." She turned her head slowly to where he was standing. "Now, let's try again." He moved silently to the center of the room and watched as she cocked her head, listening for him. "Rey, don't use sound. Use the Force. You can find me."

She took a deep breath and began to walk forward. She took a deep breath and reached out with all of her senses. In her mind, she could see the room, empty aside from her training bag. Another breath and she could see him. Feel him. She took a step in his direction and punched out with a single fist. She heard him give a soft chuckle as she struck only air. She pulled off her blindfold to see him a few yards further away.

He sighed. "Rey, what are you doing? Blindfold. Back on."

"You laughed. Just now, I heard it." Pause. "I've never heard your laugh before."

Kylo stared at her, his face blank. "Blindfold."

She rolled her eyes and began to tie it back over her eyes. "It was nice, just so you know."

She could feel his frustration with her growing so she slid back into an offensive stance. This time, she focused on him, only him, until she felt the Force inside him move with the intention to hit. Quickly, she stepped back, lifting her arms to block his strike.

"Better. Again."

* * *

"I have a theory." Rey was lying on the ground, looking up at the ceiling, while they both took a break. Kylo was sitting up, leaning his back against the wall.

"Oh really?"

"Snoke was a liar." She said it so matter-of-factly, Kylo almost spit out the mouthful of water he'd been drinking. He lowered the cup to the ground next to him and tilted his head, waiting for her next sentence. "This might sound crazy… I don't think he bound us together." She sat up, resting back on her hands, looking at his face for a reaction.

His expression was blank, but he gave her a single nod to continue.

"Remember when the day we met? In the forest."

His expression flickered and if she hadn't been paying attention, she would have missed the quick look of hurt. _You're a monster!_ "I remember." His voice was level.

"How… did you find me?" She was treading carefully, not wanting to upset him.

He considered the question, running his fingers through his hair. It was a nervous tic Rey'd noticed a few weeks ago, but hadn't said anything about. "I don't really remember. I just…" He paused. "I just knew."

Rey nodded, as if she'd expected that, excitement growing on her face. "Right before you came, like minutes before, I found Luke's saber. And when I touched it… it's hard to explain, but I saw you. Not like this," she motioned between them, meaning their bond. "More like, a vision, I guess."

"Like when you were training?" He'd seen a vision of her that day, when their hands touched. A million potential futures; her turning him, him turning her. The dangerous game they both would play.

She shook her head. "Not like that. More just an… an awareness. An awareness of you. A bond."

"So, you think it was Luke that bound us?"

Rey looked at him like he was a moron and cocked a brow. "You _really_ think Luke would ever, _ever_ want me to meet you?" Seeing the hurt on his face, she continued quickly. "Plus, he didn't know who I was then. And he was just as shocked about this as we were."  
Kylo watched as she unconsciously brushed a piece of hair from her face. It was a nervous tic he's noticed lately; when she was worried or stressed, she'd move hair away from her face even if there wasn't any.

"It was the Force." She concluded.

"What was the Force?"

"That's what tied us. Somehow, touching the lightsaber woke something inside of me, and whatever that was, it linked with you."

He considered it. "That would explain…" he began slowly. Rey's eyes were alight with excitement. "That would explain how you were able to use the Force so easily at first. I mean, raw talent can explain some of that away, but you were able to control a trooper's mind and resist me. Maybe some of my control, my training was passed to you…"

She nodded. "It's like I already knew what to do."

They sat for a minute, both thinking to themselves.

Rey suddenly chuckled, remembering something. "You know what I'm not able to do?" Kylo lifted a brow. "Catch a beam from a blaster."

Kylo almost laughed when he realized what she was talking about. "Your shoulder? When was that, two months ago?"

She let out an exasperated huff. "Finn would never train with me again after that." A brief sadness flickered across her face, but it was gone before Kylo could truly register it. "How did you learn to do it?"

"Lots of practice. Like we should be doing now. Come on." He stood up and offered her a hand without thinking. Realizing what he did, he froze and was about to lower it when Rey reached out and hesitantly took it, pulling herself up. _You're nothing. But not to me._

Rey dropped her hand like she'd been burned and stepped back. She coughed nervously and quickly bent to pick up her blindfold and staff. He watched her while she crossed the room and entered her favorite stance. Just like that, any tension between them faded, and they began to fight.


End file.
